Thoughts on the money swallowing snake
On Saturday the 11th of February a tweet from @DailyPostNGR carried an article claiming that a “strange snake” swallowed THIRTY SIX MILLION NAIRA from a JAMB office in Benue State, Makurdi.
Well of course; this brings up many questions; like what kind of lie is this? I mean these guys are not even creative, couldn’t they have said the money was stolen or that it caught fire or it was eaten by a larger animal like an elephant or a certain noisy senator. Another sensible question can be why was the money in the JAMB office? Haven’t they heard of banks? Also why is a JAMB office generating so much money? According to the officials at the office the money was gotten from scratch card sales. Well I’m a bit curious; when pigs fly and their claims are actually true I’d be more concerned about the snake. Did the guy seriously leave his bush with all the mice and rats, slither to a corporate building made its way to the cash stash, diffused through the vault and started…. nah I can’t. It would be more understandable if it kept going in and going out but why in heaven’s name did it dump its regular diet to come and start eating currency *sigh*
Like most problems in our country, the perpetrators blamed the matter on the spiritual. According to the article written on the dailypost.ng a sales clerk by the name of Philomina Chieshe confessed to the JAMB registrar that her housemaid connived with another JAMB staff Joan Asen, to “spiritually” steal the money from the vault in the accounts office with the help of everyone’s favourite snake (excluding Neymar & Alexis Sanchez). Funny how Philomina shifts blame to her housemaid and Joan Asen, like how can your housemaid be involved in such an atrocity and you knew but it’s on her head. At least now the snake is a spiritual snake so it makes more sense now.
So yesterday (Sunday) JAMB announced that they suspended Philomina. The JAMB Head of information told a correspondent from Sahara Reporters that the board was taking her through other disciplinary measures while security agencies were investigating the matter. In my opinion, one of the disciplinary measures should be a proper sit-down with an official and Philomina on why she could not come up with a better lie. This boils down to another issue in our country, these guys think we are all stupid. Like I said earlier they are not even creative, if I have been stealing money from my own office for years I’d probably come up with a better cover story rather than blame it on the impossible. Why won’t they call us shithole countries? When officials do not even give regard for its people. It is very insulting and demeaning to the people of Benue and Nigeria to think that anyone would believe this. In the end, the JAMB officials should sort themselves out so our folks over in Benue can sit for their exams properly so WE DON’T HAVE ANOTHER PROBLEM THAT COULD HAVE BEEN EASILY AVOIDED.
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(image from Seattleite.com)